There, I said it.

I just spent a week in Milwaukee, Wisconsin hanging, prepping, and spending time at our annual community service event we affectionately refer to as GameOn Day.  I met hundreds of people who don’t see me as a Screen Printer but as a Change Maker for childhood cancer.  Like an alter ego.  “Gamerosity Manny” and “Manny the shirt guy” have an alternating relationship with one another.

This isn’t hyperbole either.  Last Friday we spent the day at Children’s Hospital where we delivered 2 Hero Packages, celebrated a boy’s Bell Ringing Ceremony to celebrate the end of his chemo cycle, and hung out with a handful of children at a special Gamerosity event.  As I was walking out of Children’s Hospital, I received a phone call that one of my employees broke a $200 plate of glass that effectively shuts down our operations until we can get it replaced.  It’s an interesting dynamic when in the same 60 second span I get to meet a child who is pumped to meet me because I’m “Manny the Gamerosity guy” and at the same time fielding phone calls from customers who are worried my trip will effect their timelines.  One moment, I have a microphone in my hands sharing the vision behind our little charity and the next I’m answering an email from a lady who needs 8 shirts for a family reunion.

No matter how far I travel, I’m a Screen Printer.  No matter how many lives I get to interact with, I’m a Screen Printer.  I can’t escape it.  It’s who I am.

But it does not limit me.  Ever.  And it shouldn’t limit you.

When we first started Gamerosity, I used to say cheesy lines like, “God can do extraordinary things through extra-ordinary people.” my point the whole time wasn’t to garner praise or encouragement from others, it was to hopefully encourage you who feel this burning in your heart to change the world that the difference between the wanters and the disrupters is simply moving forward.

You want to start a charity?  Do it. You want to volunteer your time? Do. It.  Your job isn’t IN your way, your job IS your way, it’s what finances your ability to take risks. The sooner you start seeing it that way, the sooner you can start filling that void in your soul that screams, “YOU WERE MADE FOR MORE THAN THIS!”

Sure those hours that you could be changing the world you’re stuck behind a desk or on the job site or whatever!  But if you’re not making a little difference behind a desk, you won’t make much of an impact when you (finally) land that job for that charity you’ve been wanting to work for!  You need that journey, that rocky road, that struggle.  You need to look back and see how your job helped you get to a place of great impact.

There was a time I hated Forte.  It was my burden.  It kept me from Gamerosity with all it’s logo revisions and business card designs and “I want American Apparel shirts but for $5/shirt and I only need 8 shirts” and all the other things that go into the daily grind at our shop.  All I wanted to do was make videos, design Gamerosity graphics, fill Hero Packages, and strategize new ways to make the platform more sustainable.  I hated Forte for getting in my way.

I didn’t see the beauty in my day job.  It feeds my family.  It keeps my wife home with the kiddos.  It puts clothes on our backs and it puts a roof over our heads.  It finances Gamerosity.  Any work I put into Gamerosity is because I’ve been given the freedom through the job I have.

Gamerosity families don’t need me to work on Gamerosity full time, they just need me to care and respond from my heart.  The rest is just selfishness and short-sightedness.  Now don’t get me wrong, there’s NOTHING wrong with working a Charity full-time, its a dream of mine and maybe one day that’ll happen in my life.   We pay these Charity workers so they don’t have to do anything else, so they can give their full attention to this cause, that’s important!  Let’s be honest, Peach belongs at the MadLab changing children’s lives!  I’m a monthly donor because I never want to see her have to split her time!

Our culture likes to make excuses.  We say we can’t make a difference because we have no time and our jobs get in the way but we’ll Netflix binge for 4 hours straight without any guilt or hesitation.  Listen, our free time LIVES IN INCONVENIENCE!  That’s where it thrives, where it flourishes, where it manifests!  We’ll talk about Game of Thrones, The Bachelor, The Walking Dead, or whatever latest TV show that steals from us 45 minutes at a time and still appeal to our day jobs as the main thief of our difference making. We act as though the world can only be changed from 9-5.

There’s a whole 8 hours out there waiting for you to clutch it by the throat but we’d rather play poker with the fellas or see who the next America Ninja Warrior is.  1/3 of our days are full of potential, that’s where you’re no longer a name tag and you can become anything you want to be.  So be it.  You don’t even have to make money doing it! You just spent 8 hours of your day financing this venture of yours!

I hope, if nothing else, there’s someone out there that reads this and is emboldened to step out and start the next “big thing.” I hope there’s a Disrupter out there that realizes that the only thing holding them back is themselves.  I hope there’s one less “I had THAT idea years ago and I never did anything about it.” out there.

It’s Friday.  The weekend has started.  Every Friday at 5pm I clock out as Co-Owner of Forte Clothing Company and I clock in as Executive Director of Gamerosity.  I never want to look back on my life wondering why I didn’t do something worthwhile during those times I took those weekend naps.  There will always be another Bachelor, another Game of Thrones, another Ninja Warrior.  There will always be another NBA Champion.  There will always be another blockbuster movie.  But there will never, ever be another you.

Make the world feel your roar.

How is this my life?

Honestly, I have no clue, but I’m never going to wake up from this dream.

Over the last week, I’ve been able to meet hundreds of incredible people who shared thoughtful, heartfelt words of gratitude about Gamerosity and the role I get to play in it.  Our first ever GameOn Day outside of our HQ (Medford, OR) was a huge success.  It was unbelievable watching so many families and friends and loved ones get together and live out our vision for this day.  All we wanted to do was give children and families a chance to simply BE KIDS!  To enjoy life and childhood and all the things cancer tries to steal away.

We were at it for months leading up to the event.  Facebook Messages at all hours of the day with acquaintances who would later become friends and after that, become family.  Phone calls, emails, daily check-in’s and even challenging conversations about accomplishing goals were exchanged with a group of 9 individuals who I believe shared my heart for Childhood Cancer.  It all culminated last Saturday as all these plans turned into reality and a field full of people on a college campus enjoyed life together.

“This is the edge of life.” I felt myself saying and thinking over and over again.  Truthfully, a part of me doesn’t know what it means, but I definitely know what it feels like.  It’s the depth of emotion and the line we walk on between generosity and vulnerability.  It means exposing your heart and allowing the gamut of emotions to be experienced, unguarded.  It’s the place many don’t allow themselves to go because it’s too difficult articulating, managing, and explaining away these feelings.

All we cared about was bringing joy, and all we experienced was gratitude reciprocated.  It’s so humbling to be a part of, it breaks me to feel all this emotion and not know precisely how to approach it all, other than to fall on my knees and thank God for allowing me to be as broken as these families need me to be.  And truly, I was.  Broken and humbled.

I met so many families. So many traveled from so far just to introduce themselves and share their love for our (apparently not-so) little non-profit.  One family traveled 4 hours each way to come hang out.  Others, a couple hours.  How can I not thank them and be humble for such genuine acts of love?

How can I not be overwhelmed when a sweet young girl sees me at Children’s Hospital and recognizes me because we delivered a Hero Package to her 2 years ago?  How in the world can she even remember who I am?  I’m just some dude!  How can facilitating special packages mean so much to so many people?  I mean, a lot of people ship packages to children?  I don’t have a unique mission.  What makes me so lucky to care and be cared for?  I don’t know, honestly.

All I really know and care about is that I’m going to stand on the Edge, be vulnerable and allow God to use me as He sees fit.  I promise, I won’t protect my feelings, I’ll take it all in.  The joy, the good times, the pain, the bad times. The heartbreak and the hustle, I’m going to live in it because one day, I’m going to die.  And when that happens, I want to be remembered for doing the Baymax Big Hero 6 fist bump with Brooklyn.  I want to be remembered for giving a 15 year old boy with Leukemia an Xbox 360 just because.  I want to be remembered for the moments that no cameras are around and I take a terminal 12 year old boy to see Ninja Turtles because I think he’d like it.  I want to be remembered for living on the Edge of Life, inhaling opportunities to love, exhaling gratitude.  Every moment.

Is it for you?  It’s for all of us.  I don’t believe God made us to play it safe when it comes to being vulnerable with our emotions and helping others.  I don’t believe God has called us to passively care for others.  We weren’t made to sit on the sidelines and provide commentary, nor were we made to protect our emotions for fear of seeming human.  You were made for this.  Whatever it is that stirs your heart that helps other people, get all the way to the edge.  If you fail, fail gloriously. You’ll find out more about yourself than you ever have your whole life.  You’re capable of so much good, you just have to be okay with the pain of helping others, because the purpose in the pain is so rich.

I’m no one special.  I’m the leader of a non-profit that empowers children with cancer, no idea why the Board still let’s me do it, other than they know I’ve allowed my identity to be fully engulfed in this process.  And if you see me, I hope we can encourage one another to do great things for others.  I hope you know I’m just like you, and I pray we get to see the world get just a little more life-y-er together.

#LiveYourGratitude

THIS IS A WEIRD THING TO BE UPSET ABOUT.

I’m currently co-owner of a Screen Printing and Graphic Design company, Forte Clothing Company.  Despite all the analytics and data about the recession, Forte has been in business and has thrived over the last 5 years, we’re the lucky ones who haven’t had to feel the sting of a down-trodden economy.  Year after year, month after month, day after day the work comes in, and my family has been taken care of.  We’re not rich by any means (seriously, some months, we barely make it) but we make it and that’s the point.  I design for a living, primarily.  I design logos, business cards, make websites (I made this one you’re looking at), and of course, t-shirts.  It can be a grind.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

I saw other non-profit leaders doing their thing with a singular focus and filled myself with frustration wondering why I couldn’t be that leader who’s only focus was on living out their vision.  Why not me?  Aren’t I qualified to give full-time attention to Gamerosity?  Sure I am, I truly believe that, but this whole time, I’m missing the answer to a key question:  What’s your journey?

The mistake we make in this life is trying to live someone else’s dream.  Their journey is not yours.  And if your journey is hard, maybe you should be encouraged that you’re the one chosen for such a challenge.  Maybe it’s time we change the way we look at our daily grind.  Maybe it’s time we transition our attitude into something more constructive, maybe it’s time for you and I to gain perspective.

Check out this quote from one of my favorite books, Love Does by Bob Goff:

“Thinking about work as a day job has made a big difference in the way I approach what I do. It’s also helped me not to confuse who I am with what I do…

I think about my day job as a great way to fund the things we’re doing. Now when I put on a suit and tie or jump on a plane to go take a deposition, we call it “fund-raising.” It still makes me grin every time to say it this way. It’s like a really successful bake sale to get rid of bad guys.”

What if, what I do for a living is what is going to fund what I’m passionate about? What if I used my finances to change other peoples lives?  What would it do to my work ethic if I looked at my job as a way of funding my philanthropic spirit?  Wouldn’t that change the way you and I approach our day jobs?

What our culture is missing is joy.  We’ve quickly traded it for distraction and wonder why we’re no longer fulfilled.  Let’s change that.  Together, let’s change how we work, how we give, and how we approach our daily lives.  Live for Monday.

I get to spend my day creating artwork for small businesses, youth groups, non-profits, families, clothing lines, mom-and-pops shops, and the list goes on.  In 6 years, I’ve designed over 600 different shirts for clients all over the world.  I’ve created a website that offers fundraising opportunities and custom design to families and non-profits who can’t afford to purchase bulk products to raise money.  I get to help small businesses make a living every day… And then I get paid.  And then I use those resources to help children with cancer get through the toughest battle of their lives.

I encourage you, reader, to find something to pour into.  And every time you look at your job as a road block, remember why you work so hard, turn it into a bridge that connects you to your non-profit, your ministry, your charity, or whatever selfless cause that makes you feel alive.

Maybe these things in your life aren’t in your way, perhaps they’re a part of your way.

What do you think?  Have you struggled with this as I have?  I’d love to hear your thoughts, or frustrations, or instruction… We’re all in this together.  

For years I searched for meaning.  For years I came up empty in the meaning.  For years, I worked anonymously through the ranks just like everyone else wondering if I’d ever find the meaning for the stirrings in my heart.

And I found it.  I found my purpose.

I didn’t know if Gamerosity was “it” when I talked with Cat about it.  I didn’t know if Gamerosity was “it” when I spoke with Ryan, my business partner, about helping me out with it, nor did I know when we formed our Board, got our logo, created our Facebook page or anything in the “process.”  It took 10 months before we had our first campaign and another couple months after that before our site launched, so in-between all that there was simply wonder.  After our first campaign, who we are and what my role was in this began to take shape and before I knew it, I was the Director of a Non-Profit, a manifestation of my heart.

What people don’t tell you is the process that goes on during this stage.  And I totally understand why.  Being in any spotlight makes you vulnerable.  You want to present yourself and your organization as strong, unbreakable, trustworthy, and all those other qualities that draw the masses to you.  But what do I care?  I’m just an ordinary guy.

What people don’t mention is the heartache in the process; the disconnect in the time-space continuum between your dreams and your present reality.  Leaders see things in the future, it’s a part of what put us in that position in the first place.  I don’t look at Gamerosity as it is in its present state, but I see it in light of all the dreams, goals, and plans we have for the future.  I see the impact we’ll have within our “space” and I see the absolute paradigm shift that can happen if these things come to pass.  I’m not willing to concede to the present because I know the good we have planned for tomorrow.

But that’s what breaks me.

See, there’s this tension that goes on in my world between the need for me to be thankful and excited about what’s going on now without growing complacent and settling for “good enough.”  The reality is, people look at Gamerosity and they (by and large) love it.  The thought that what we’re doing with Gamerosity isn’t something I’m content with comes off as almost offensive, as though presenting their child with a Hero Package isn’t good enough to me.  But that’s not the point.  The reality is, I want so much more in our relationship between non-profit and child.

I want so much more than a Facebook post and random “check-ins” with the family.  I want to change things for families who’s children have cancer.  When we made our Mission “Changing the Treatment Experience for Kids with Cancer” we mean(t) it.  So I find myself warring in my heart, pitting future against past as though the two can’t coexist.

There’s a discipline that I’m learning in all this.  To truly, 100% embrace the work that’s being done today.  To celebrate the change that’s been made.  To bask in the reality that there’s a ton of non-profit leaders that wish they can make the kind of impact we’ve made so far.  I’m also learning how to truly, 100% embrace the work that comes in building for the future.  I will not settle for less, and I will not allow anyone to force me to settle.  This is my dream, but it’s also to the benefit of hundreds of children everywhere.

We’re going to change things.  I’m going to be a part of it, but I will not allow myself to sulk and live in misery because we’re not there yet.  I will hold on to the joy set before me.  I will praise God for yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  I will live in the beauty of this tension that pushes me today, and invigorates me for tomorrow.  And I will not allow finances, closed doors, or laziness to get in the way.  I was born to do this.

Side Note:
I get discouraged every now and again that the money isn’t there to move forward with these things.  I’ve worked extremely hard, willing to sacrifice compensation in order to build this organization into a sustainable change-making non-profit.  I don’t care about compensation because these things work themselves out.  I truly believe that it’s not my job to find a way to pay myself so I can fully focus on the organization (mainly because, if I begin to make that my focus, we’ll lose the purpose of our organization).  Paying me isn’t what this is about.  It’s about paying for the things we need to take the next step.  Innovation costs money, and I’m not willing to give any of our retail and platform dollars to anything other than Hero Campaigns, the children are our first priority.  So we search.  For external fundraisers, grant writers to lace up their boots, and opportunities that present themselves.  It’ll come, I know it will.  It’s not about money, it’s about time.

I’ve spent the last 3 years working as hard as I can to make Gamerosity a real, tangible, meaningful thing.  I hustled through late nights, long road trips, and lots of euphemisms involving blood, sweat, and tears… I believe in Gamerosity more than anything I’ve ever done in my life.  It’s my life’s purpose, my heart’s joy, the purpose in the pain.

But, for the first time in 3 years, I got burnt out.

Running my own business, rehabbing my knee, raising a family, figuring out our finances, and growing/maintaining the non-profit finally wore me out and I found myself struggling to continue the momentum for a couple weeks there.

My Board knew it too… they saw it when they looked into my eyes.  Nothing was ever mentioned, but they knew I finally hit that wall everyone’s been talking about.  The reality is, the “grind” of Gamerosity isn’t something I can pass off because nothing is really automated and I can’t just have anybody update pages because they’d receive the keys to a website that hosts hundreds of sales and facilitates over 200 campaigns, there’s too much at stake.

See, I believe in “Love Recklessly” as a philosophy.  I don’t agree with the idea of being analytical in how you serve or love others.  That’s not necessarily healthy, but it’s how I operate; it’s who I am.  Consequences, however, can be pretty tough.

But I learned a couple things through this.

1.  We don’t always need help, but we always need support

Not everyone can do your job, especially if you have a specialized position as I have with Gamerosity.  But you do need a support system.  You need people that understand how you operate, people who will talk about something other than what’s burning you out, and people who will encourage you through the process.

2. Fatigue doesn’t mean Failure

This may be tough for people who fancy themselves “strong” in the business or personal world.  Don’t deny that you’re burnt out, it’ll only compound the issues, admit it.  Be open about your humanity and embrace the process.  You’re exhausted because you’re pursuing something that matters deeply to you, it’s supposed to cost you.  Don’t get discouraged.  Press on.

3. Get some rest

Seriously.  Your body needs a break, we all have to save the world, I get it.  I live in some of that “what if” world (Kids aren’t getting funded because I’m too lazy to post and ask people to help!”), but you have to take a short break from whatever it is that’s burning you out.  Turn off your phone, don’t answer emails, redirect your conversations, and unplug for a day or two.  You’ll notice that whatever it is will be waiting for you when you get back, and refocussing provides perspective.

4. Refocus

If you’re burnt out, it means you’re not doing things efficiently.  Take some time to see if there’s an opportunity to approach it a different way.  Perhaps there is room for extra support.  Not everyone can help you, and you can’t help everyone.  But you can see ways to improve and adjust.  You’ll also be able to remind yourself WHY you chose to do this in the first place.  I love our Gamerosity kids, they’re everything to me.  Their smiles light up my life.

Last Saturday, my wife and decided to just stay in bed and unplug.  The weight can sometimes be so heavy that it paralyzes you, you have to unplug.  We didn’t get out of bed until 10am.  And, for a family with a 6 and 4 year old, you know how impossible that can be.  We shut down all operations for the day, we relaxed around the house, stayed in our PJ’s till noon, and even went for a little hike in the afternoon.  It was exactly what I needed.

Find your nature hike.  A good book, a drink with a  friend, some headphones and a coffee shop, a weekend away… Whatever it is, get away, get refocussed, you’re too important to your purpose to burn yourself out.

Life is tumultuous, heartbreaking, and chaotic.  But, it’s also incredibly beautiful.  I know, I know… very insightful. Here’s something else I’ve noticed about life; It’s incredibly easy to settle for less. The easy route to “I’ve always wanted to…” is always open.  You’re tired, I’m tired, work is hard, kids have been crabby all day, your electric bill just went up, I GET IT!  But the greatest mistake we can make is to accept life’s challenges as an opportunity to throw in the towel.

I know purpose is out there.  And I know it’s for EVERYONE.  I know this because I know who I am to my very core.

I’m the 2nd born of a split family.  My childhood wasn’t easy.  There were plenty of dark times sprinkled in.  I have 4 brothers and everyone would tell you straight up, “You don’t know the real Manny.”  They tell you this because they were only there for the start of my race.  I’ve lived through abuse, physical and otherwise.  My name was an “insult” among my family, cousins, and uncles.  If someone did something silly or goofy, it would be described as being “Manuelistic” and the crowd would laugh at my expense.  (If it came down to it, these same people would run in front of a car for me, they’d just laugh at me after for getting myself in that situation.  But I needed more.  I need(ed) understanding, compassion.)

Our culture can be funny.  We tend to put-down friends and family in success instead of uplift.  We tend to feel it’s our public duty to keep family from getting a “big head” through success.  Oftentimes, they succeed.

I knew no worth other than the embrace of my compassionate mother who’d tell me, “things will change, it won’t always be like this.”

Why do I reveal this?  Because we all have a past.  And maybe it’s because I’m coming off a very difficult season from ACL surgery and am hopped up on pain killers, but I’m okay with showing my scars today.

Because you have scars too.  And maybe someone in your life is trying to keep you from allowing yourself to move on and progress in your life.  And maybe you need someone like me to tell you to shed your old skin, be comfortable in your new skin, and be a DreamCatcher.  Be fierce.  Be relentless.  Be unapologetic about who you are.  Your antagonizers want you to fit you into the box they only comprehend, don’t let them put you back in there.  Be you.

But don’t just be you, be the you that YOU KNOW you can be.  Be the you that can change other peoples lives.  Be the you that God has fearfully and wonderfully made you to be.

Because the world needs more you’s and less them’s.

Your past is your gift, for better or for worse.  It belongs to you and you can choose to use your gift as an excuse, a curse, or you can choose to channel it into something positive.  Something that EMPOWERS YOU instead of something that weighs you down.

There are no perfect days, just perfect opportunities.

I don’t always get it right, but that’s the point.  Get past the idea that you need to have it together before you try to lead, grow, or do anything of worth.  Understanding your past, accepting your frailty, and allowing your humanity to show is where REAL LIFE is lived.  I’m not a campaign, I’m just some dude who wants to make a difference.  I know there are people who’d rather I keep quiet, stop sensationalizing everything, and live out my days.  I’d rather Love Recklessly and make some waves.

Who knows, maybe a ripple of my actions can inspire someone out there to see their beautiful value and launch out into a life of sweet, glorious purpose.

Here’s what we don’t see:  The Journey.  We love our stars, we idolize our mentors, but long before they’re spotlighted in your favorite magazine, blog, or movie, they’re finding their way, living their struggles, and writing their story.

And I LOVE that!

That means, (wait for it), you are in the middle of your story!  You’re not at the finish line, you and I are smack dab, perfectly right where we need to be.  And to be honest, I’m glad we don’t start at the finish line.  I’m glad people can’t look at me and see a finished product.  I’m so grateful we get to live out each day, living, listening, loving, and learning from the lessons we encounter.

I don’t need to be strong, I need to be in progress.  That’s what Love Recklessly is… It’s the beauty in the chaos, the process of loving others and stepping back from ourselves and into a life of purpose.  I don’t want unshakeable faith… I want a shakeable faith, one that is always tested.  From trials to opportunities to setbacks, it’s all shaking up the way we approach the reality of who we are in light of who God is.  Here are 4 ways we shake up our faith:

Living

You don’t know what you believe till you get out there and have your worldview challenged.  Meet new people, give to the needy.  Lend your time, talents, and treasures to perfect strangers.  Go on a spontaneous trip.  Go a day without your cell phone and take in the energy of the world around you.  Seriously.

Listening

Be intentional about the lives of others.  Ask questions.  Find out what peoples’ back stories are.  Where do they come from?  What do they love to do?  What’s their story?  You’ll find out so much from this.  They’re human, they’re different than you, and most of all, you need to love that person because these encounters are divine appointments.  You’ll become vulnerable from these encounters, but that’s the point, it’s no longer “just you and Jesus”… it’s you, Jesus, and the rest of the people He created.

Loving

That homeless guy.  That moody lady.  That dirty child.  That person with a disability you don’t understand.  Mark Driscoll calls these people “Image Bearers” and it shakes me to my core.  These people bear the image of God, yet we treat them like objects.  Stop seeing them as objects, start seeing them as preciously, fearfully, wonderfully made people deserving of your respect and reckless love.  Start doing it and watch it shake you.

Learning

Take all these encounters and begin every thought with the reality that you don’t have it all together.  And that’s fine.  What did you learn about your faith from stepping up, stepping out, and caring for those you wouldn’t normally care for?
I think too often, we like a watered down, good-enough version of our faith.  We like having an ambiguous faith that can get us out of a bind, but not necessarily disrupt our daily lives.  I’m not sure that’s how God designed a relationship to be.  It has ups and downs, twists and turns, and is meant to constantly examined and re-examined.  And none of that is bad.  Sometimes you’ll have doubts, and sometimes you’ll know without a doubt that you’re serving a greater purpose, but never will you ever need to worry about having it together.

Love Recklessly isn’t about the finish line.  I’m still in the race trying to figure out if I’ll ever make it.  I want you to run your race alongside me.  I want to encourage you to endure, while you help correct my form.  We’re in this together.  For better or for worse, let’s shake up our faith and let iron sharpen iron and finish strong.

You ever hit a point where you held yourself hostage to this image of strength you tried to portray?  How did you overcome that?  What advice do you have for those who are dealing with this?  Comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I had been communicating with an online community on Facebook for Lymphoma patients and survivors when I ran across a post shared by a Facebook friend of mine on her wall. It was a Caringbridge link (a site that allows those with medical conditions to write a journal and keep family and friends up-to-date on their condition) for a little boy fighting cancer. The journal was written by the mother of a little boy named Ethan Jostad who had been fighting a type of cancer I’d never heard of — Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. Something made me click that link and read that post. I like to think it was fate.

I read Ethan’s story through the words written by his mother Kim, and a few posts here and there from Ethan’s father Chris, and Grandmother Debbie. Kim’s writing was raw and it was full of emotion. It was so real and honest, and it hit me to my core. All I could think about was how difficult it must have been for Ethan to experience what he had gone through at the young ages of seven, eight, and nine. After all I had gone through the same, and it was quite frankly hell on Earth. There he was, this beautiful boy with the warmest smile, a child who had been through so much and who was so happy. Ethan and his family were happy because they had just recently received the news that his scans were clear and there was no evidence of disease, a feeling I was very familiar with.

Reading Ethan’s story moved me so much that I sent a message to his Facebook page with the simple statement of, “Just one cancer survivor reaching out to another. Hang in there Ethan.” I never expected to get a response back or even a reply, but was surprised to hear back from Ethan’s mom along with a friend request. We traded messages back and forth and developed a friendship online. I kept track of Ethan’s progress and read Kim’s posts to see how he was doing. In May of 2011 things took a turn for the worst when Ethan began feeling pain in his left side. There was a fear that his cancer had returned. That fear would be confirmed the following month when Ethan and his family learned the cancer was back, and it had spread everywhere. The entire family would end up flying to New York City for treatment in an attempt to save his life. Sadly I watched from afar as Ethan’s condition rapidly deteriorated and my friends lost their precious son at the age of nine. It was devastating to his entire family. The pain of losing a child is unimaginable. Ethan’s life had touched so many who were affected by his loss, including me. It felt like I had lost one of my own family members.

Even though we were separated by more than 3,000 miles, the Jostads living in Oregon and I residing in Florida, I remained in contact with the family through it all and continued to send love and support to them after Ethan passed away. We kept in contact and later I volunteered to help with the newly established foundation named after Ethan by providing help with graphic design and with administering the foundation Facebook page. In May of 2012 our friendship took another leap when I decided to travel to Oregon to visit the Jostad family. Finally we would meet in person after communicating with each other for over a year online. I was headed to Eagle Point to play in the 1st annual Ethan Jostad Foundation charity golf tournament, but more importantly I was on my way to meet the family I had grown to love from afar.

When I stepped off the plane in Medford, Oregon it felt like I was coming home. I was greeted by Kim and her friend Emily at the airport. When I gave Kim a hug it felt like I had known her forever. It was one of those “don’t let go” hugs you give to a family member who you haven’t seen in years. I finally met Chris, their son Tanner, and daughter Ella, and it was amazing. I stayed with Debbie, Kim’s mother, and her husband Troy for the next few days and was treated with such kindness and compassion. The Jostad’s family and friends were the nicest and most caring people I had ever met. Towards the end of my trip it became apparent to me that Oregon would one day be my home and I wasn’t ready to leave yet. We said our parting words, but in the back of my mind I knew one day that I’d be back, I just didn’t know how soon that would happen.

Two months later, in September of 2012, while still living in Florida I was asked to join the Board of Directors of the Ethan Jostad Foundation. For the first time ever I felt like I was finally making a difference in the world. We were providing love, hope and support to the lives of children and their families who were dealing with cancer. The Jostad family understood childhood cancer from the perspective of parents and siblings, and I understood cancer from the perspective of a patient.

In February of 2013 I made a decision that would forever change my life and that of my family. I decided to move from sunny South Florida across the country to Roseburg, Oregon so that I could be closer to the people I had grown to love as family and to help lead the Ethan Jostad Foundation further towards helping more children and families fighting cancer. My parents, who I have always enjoyed a close relationship with and who had taken care of me during my battle with cancer, would soon follow suit and relocate a year later to nearby Myrtle Creek, Oregon.

It was love that took me from one coast of the country to the other. The love of a Survivor for others who are experiencing what I have already conquered. The love and support for children and their families as they come face-to-face with one of the most terrifying diseases one can imagine. The love of a beautiful state and its community of people who are nothing short of amazing in their abundance of kindness and compassion. None of this would have happened, however, if it were not for the love of one child taken too soon and his family who have come to mean the world to me.

As Ethan’s Grandmother said to me one time, “This all happened because of Ethan,” and she was so right.

What about you?  Has love inspired you to move in a way that your logic would never allow?  Let’s hear it!  Comment below and let’s inspire one another.

I’ve encountered along my journey so many people seeking desperately to matter.  And I agree with them.  Everyone should matter.  Everyone matters.   I want you to find your deep purpose in this life.  If you don’t feel you’re living it right now, trust me, you are.  You may not feel as though it’s playing out the way you plan, but man, oh man, you’re smack dab in the middle of a beautiful story.  And it’s different than everyone else!

More than anything, I want to encourage you to LIVE YOUR STORY, not anothers, just BE YOU.

Somewhere along our journeys, we try to take shortcuts to prominence. But don’t be mistaken, shortcuts hurt people.  Taking the easy way out of our journey is effectively lopping off the heads of those in your way so you can fast-forward to a position that, in your opinion, matters more than where you’re at now.  I know this, because I’ve lived this.  I’ve learned that you have to honor the process in your journey.  You can’t hurt people and apologize later.

People do what they want

This was something someone told me a few years back that I’ve carried with me to this day.  I hurt someone.  I told them I didn’t mean to hurt them in my effort to matter.  The response I received was “People do what they want.”  that statement sat heavy in my heart and will never leave.

Think about that statement.  People do what they want.  You may be thinking, “I’m not doing what I want with my life right now.”  Well, are you?  If you say you want to wake up at 5 in the morning to go on a morning run, but you can’t get yourself up out of bed, then, well, you actually want to sleep in, not wake up early.  If you’re telling me you want to learn how to play guitar, or write a blog, or be a better parent, leader, or read more… The proof is in the pudding.

You do what you want. If you want to start a non-profit, then start a non-profit.  We talk about closed doors and open doors all the time, have you ever stopped and talked about the doors you kicked open and ran through?  That door is open if you want to go through it.  That’s what #LoveRecklessly is all about.

There are no more victims. There is only empowerment. What do you want to do? Do it.

Circumstances can easily change the trajectory of your journey, but you should always be moving towards your purpose. Always.  If fear is enabling you to continue with making excuses, I encourage you, with everything in me, move past the excuses.  I KNOW you want to be significant.  I know this because I want the same thing.

Some days I’m dog-tired.  I work a lot, Gamerosity asks a lot of me, I’m a dad to 2 beautiful children, and I have a fantastic wife who loves spending time with me.  Excuses are easy, but I have to ask myself, “what do I WANT out of this life?” after that, everything is easy.  I want to show kids with cancer that I love them, I care for them, and that we remember them.  That can’t happen without putting in work. I do what I want.  My actions will always show that.  And until I see the face of Jesus, I’ll kick through every door I encounter.  I hope you do the same.

How about you?  You ever feel like the world is keeping you from being significant?  Like circumstances are getting in the way?  How’d you overcome them?  How do you find empowerment?